HAPPY CAMPING DONINGTON WINS F1 GP 2010

HAPPY CAMPING! DONINGTON WINS BRITISH F1 GRAND PRIX 2010

After years of profiteering at the expense of British Race Fans, poor ol’ Ernie Becklestone, and his buddy Spanky (never were there stranger bedfellows!), Silverstone Circuit is to lose David Coulthard, who announced his retirement yesterday after / just before / while hearing the fate of his old stomping ground and the sudden plummeting in value of his BRDC condominium club investment. Yes, come 2010, the UK is to be handed on a plate what it always yearned - international parity, its very own not-for-profit British Formula 1 Grand Prix at Donington Park Circuit.

Who loses when the British F1 Grand Prix goes to Donington?

1. British Petroleum companies whose 3rd quarter profits for a few decades rested completely petrol wasted in traffic jams leading to Silverstone Circuit on Grand Prix Day.
2. Northants Cow Paddock owners, whose English Country Gentleman pretences (and daughters’ finishing school expenses) were built on the back of 2 nights of camping per year for half a century.
3. A couple of helicopter pilots and Northampton Cabbies
4. British Motorcycle Racing Fans who will have their amazing Donington Park GP Circuit Tilke-fied.

Who benefits when the British Grand Prix is Stripped from Silverstone?

1. Silverstone Circuit who will be cursed with eternally lovely lawns, unsoiled by tire tread marks of philistine F1 fans who just can’t understand why a field in the middle of nowhere used twice a year at best MUST have perfect grass and can’t park a bunch of cars headed in that direction. Its infield will again be open to anyone who wants a view of the track, albeit empty. And management at the track will never again feel the heart ache of ignoring the regular punter because they have to kowtow to Australian Soap Opera stars who may (during race weekend at least) have romantic connections.
   The memory of Robin Hood. Think about it.
2. Racing Fans who will have at last, at Donnington Circuit, full and glorious views of the action with a simple general admission access ticket - however benign the new Tilkeland track redesign might be. Added to this will be easy access and egress, a real airport East Midlands within a stone’s throw of the track, Donington / Nottingham area hotels and motels up the kazoo (all budgets and tastes), and loads of camping space that won’t cost the earth.
3. To a lesser extent the momentous upturn of stifling tradition (from Silverstone’s cold dead hands pried) might also benefit Booboo Simpleton’s dad, who, must, by now have twigged that his son is need of more practice driving a real racecar, but who makes a good show of being completely oblivious to the fact that the kid is just a kid and not Superboy (or vaguely worthy of wearing Ayrton’s colors on his helmet). I get a feeling that dad is probably delusional enough to be eyeing the DC’s empty seat at Red Bull, hoping to double the boy’s income by entering him to steer 2 cars at the same time and prove that you can lose 2 world Championships in the same season before someone (who matters) notices that Booboo may go down in history for being the only fool kid ever to CRASH into the back of a parked F1 Ferrari. (Although on a historical note DC steered his Williams into a innocently parked barrier during one pitstop many many many moons ago. see video 2 below – foreboding for young booboo, yes?).

Note to Booboo’s Pop – there’s Barricello’s seat at Honda, where Booboo and Button could practice their best Brando “I could have been a contender”, maybe one day with DC as a consultant, and even a few unused cars languishing in the shed behind the former Super Aguri factory. You could hedge your bets, Dad. That’s 5 cars and 5 outrageous incomes and still the lad couldn’t win a championship – well maybe on a PS3.

How Dad can sleep at night when he knows his boy’s backside is keeping someone with real talent, like, say Sebastien Bourdais, from doing all he can do in a career destined for still more success is beyond me.

In Conclusion
But I’m trying not to get too excited about this. Someone who knows someone who remembers Maggie Thatcher who still cares and knows Jackie Stewart who may know someone who has (as yet unreleased) videotape of someone doing something with 16 disgruntled Massage Therapy interns (they didn’t even get to keep the nautical stripe outfits to sell on eBay) and who knows an aging Australian Soap Opera Star who has forgiven the nasty cold sore and owes them a favour anyway will come good at the last moment and save HSBC from having to remove their Teller Machine and we’ll all be back in the traffic jam wondering if we’ll get to our seat with a useless view of anything but the rain in time for the warm up lap on race day.

If you’re out in the snow today. Here’s hoping you have a great day. Don’t despair, the future looks bright ahead!

Godspeed on all your travel adventures, Cvetko Ostroznik

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES - Hamilton Crashes into parked F1 Ferrari Montreal Canada 2008

COULTHARD SETS THE STANDARD FOR BRITISH "STARS OF THE FUTURE" VIDEO - Coulthard Crashes into Pit Lane Barrier - Adelaide, Australia 1995

F1 Crashes Video Collection 1999-2007 - Very nice collection. Memories a plenty.

Thankfully all survived. well done All Grown Up Fan 07! check out more of his video montage at YouTube.com

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You are welcome to comment or offer tips for folks headed to either Silverstone or Donington Park GP Circuit. Keep it clean and tasteful but be as cynical as you like. All posts will be moderated.